Realisation

11:23 PM

Ha ha. I'm Back again. Shit ass Blogging so much.
i have realized that i have never been
stuck to a single group for long.
i have no permanent place to chill
or no permanent people to chill with
i am a wanderer who goes to only where
he has been called doing nothing much but
observe most of the time.
always standing between two groups of people
looking at the overview of everything
it is stupid at times but i guess it is what i do best
listening... i dunno. am i that sociable after all?
i don't really know.
peeps say i am noisy
but am i truly noise?
they say i am committed
but am i truly committed?
ha ha.
why do i question myself so much.
mad kid... ha ha.
well. life's so weird.
there's everything at the same time
sadness, joy, love, frustration
What else has it installed behind the curtains eh.

Let's wait and see.


Behind Closed Doors

written, poetic_tragedy

Wooooooooot.. Town encounters

4:58 AM

written, poetic_tragedy

a Lifeless Moment

10:29 PM

Where is it to be?
I no longer have a motive or cause.
I'm so sorry for putting all of you at such expense
I just have no where else to go
Please know i still love you
And i hope we still may go far
Please know i need to go
as to find a brighter life
my life is dull now.
covered in darkness and pain
i struggle through the torns but
find more in vain.
i'm sorry.
but to carry on i need to go.

Anyway...

weeks been boring sorting out all the
crappy stuff in sch. just so so ERgh!
thanks for being here.=)
u know who you are.(whole week sia!except sun.lol)
i do not know where to go for my paths are now limited
and i do not have much to show
so it's either lasalle/poly(damn hard)/NS(i dread)
so yeah. Let's pray in unison that Antaeus
may find his future.
yup yup.

I wish our friendship is not on the line
if you're reading this pls know i love you
i really wish we still may go far
though our diff paths in life
so pls pls remain here in my life
for i cannot bare to lose a friend
but the choice is on you.
if you know me or not.
just know that if u're gone.
i'll miss you.

written, poetic_tragedy

a STEP OUT

11:47 AM

I know it's late and i told u i'd slp early
but i cannot seem to do it. Sorry.
But at least i came home early yeah.=)

Sigh in a real bad dilemma now.
Shit man. I no longer know what to do.
I need to get some load off man.
Missed Mass for 2 weeks.
I dunno. I'm losing it.
my sight. my senses. i'm losing it.
I need to recover. i need to throw things away
and sadly i need to leave some things.

How how can i do that. i don't wanna cause an
uproar of emotions. I sick of it.
If only i could just live in peace forever.
Love peace joy. All i ever want.
But since when in this world may u find that.

I NEED TO SORT EVERY BLOODY THING OUT!
ARGH! Antaeus u're so LOST!!!! so much for containing
my emotions. Sigh. I try my best to put on a happy
face for u all for i know u all have ur own problems
but the mask is getting too heavy to be worn
any longer. I need my relieve. my strength.
shit man. ALL OF YOU just don't know what i am going through
everyone seems to think i am so free and easy
so relaxed
so chilled
BALLS LA. I'm no where near that.
my Freaking schedule is so freaking packed and it's not even
the freaking busy part of the year.I've given up
i need to leave smthing.
BUT what is it?! i cannot Decide. i just don't know.
and if i every leave any of u. Please don't Weep
Just know that i still love u guys.
Thought we no longer walk the same paths.
For everything else. they can wait.

Christie. Thnx for everything. you've been great company lately. thanks.ROCK on.
Larris. i miss chilling man. y nvr watch the show today. it was great man. right jane?
Stones. Sorry i didn't make it.i just hope u all can forgive me.

Love ya.

written, poetic_tragedy

Life at half past 4

12:31 PM

Well it 0430 in the morning and i'm still barely sleepy
WHY!?! thats just not possible. WHY! shit la.
gotta wake up by 10 tml cause the darn Air-con dude's
gonna come to install the darn thing. like boring!
LIKE i'm gonna be stuck home LIKE from my waking up till
like 5-6PM!!!! ARGH! so YA! ergh.

Well Life's a mess now. So many things happening.
Life, School, Church are just some of the main things
with like loads and loads of micro tiny tiny stuff which
is just too long to write for it's just too sophisticated
so yeah.Sigh. what to do.. BORING!
Dunno where to go man.
like yeah. Poly and all. Tough shit man. 'O' level dudes and babes
Study hard man. Don't waste ur time with additional years. It's Boring
and It Drains You Dry to the Core. Like HELLO!!! Time to wake up maybe
I know i wasted mine yet although i don't regret cause i had kinda a ball of a time
if ITE excluded studying but just had my dear old and new classmates and
FLOORBALL(my life) It'd be Perfect. What a Waste eh. Floorball was the highlight of it
all. But of course MY dear Churchly Family needless to mention names has Been
Real real Great always pushing me on and all. but yeah. Thanks man.
You know i Love ALL of u and I MEAN ALL alright in cause some might misunderstand
u know All know to that u have Rocked MY life. I know i haven't really had time for
most of u and i'm sorry yeah. yeah.

Well look at the good side in life i have finacial support to finally continue my bike pracs
that's great eh. Yeah i know it's all dangerous and all but cut the crap guys. i've heard
enough and my mind's set. yeah it's dangerous yeah i might die but com'on yeah.
Reality CHECK pls. Everythings dangerous. like yeah. If like i die or something
don't weep for me yeah. just like be glad i've finnaly rid of my struggles in life and can chill for eternity. yeah? like you know. So at my funeral PLS PLS DO NOT WEAR BLACK OR WHITE OR ANY DULL BORING CLOTHES that u find at salvation army or some cheap ass stall yeah
Please the last thing i wanna see if some dulled assed guy walking down the aisle with my coffin like WAke up yeah. For my soul to see u in that is prob a one way ticket to HELL for me cause i'd be so bloody put down and be called in for i'd be convicted for murder after dead but look at the bright side you can go to heaven faster yeah. So yeah. Please ya or I'd really hate u for life after death.

Shit i've been writing for bloody 30mins. Hell this is probably the longest Post u'd get from me so u better save a copy for remembrance sake. Shit man likee the week been so bloody tiring.
Let's see.
Monday.-----------------Chilled then went Sk8ing
Tues---------------Erm... SLPT whole day no actually till 3
Wed--------------------Didn't Slp night b4 had class then training. grrr.
Thurs--------------hmmmm Slpt than Band Prac
Fri----------------Now haven't slp thing yet to come. God save me!

Shit i haven't done much at all. that's just bloody bad. Slack Shit.
Well what else can i do man. like hello.. Everything's sooo BORING
Hmm.. Saturday's Packed for me from 1pm onwards.
So is Sunday. Probably the WHOLE day.
well mondays is back to sch. WHERE'S the hols!
ARGH!
So bloody latargic now.

Argh... BYE. have Fun..................................................................

P.S.:Life's a bottle with everything shaken up inside
When u open up it all explodes out like no body's business.

I'm getting sick of things. Don't Diss me.

written, poetic_tragedy

What to do

11:30 AM

Choices choices and more choices.
When's it gonna end?
I'm Tired of Choices.
I dunno what to do anymore.
It's Dreadful.
BORING!

HAHA. Went Chilling today.
Didn't go Sch. Over slpt.
TSK Antaeus Antaeus
Terrible man.
But i still had a ball of a time with LARRIS
today at Causeway Wooot. Gr8 Stuff man.
Went Sk8ing With Des.B Today.

Des We should go again sometime man. and do crazier Shit. Woooooot.
TO ALL the PSYCHOTICS OUT THERE. Rock On. I'm With YA!
Thank YOu.

written, poetic_tragedy

Chpt 1230134102313123

1:55 AM

Salutations to ALL!
here i am again. To tell you a great story. woooooot.
Well I'm back Loaded with Stuff but don't know where to start.

Like ya.
Schools on Monday! Shit man. So so BORING!
Like it's sch. how i wish sch could never come back.
Like it's all weird shitty stuff that u can self learn and still get it.
So why go to sch. like hello!
well. Christmas was Alright i must say.
but it seems the christmas spirit is fading away.
It really is. like it's lost it's meaning in the world.
Sigh.

New Year was Great yeah. Like was in church
and went to houses and then after a countdown party
in church. Rocking stuff man. Like yeah.Cleaning up was revolutionary.
ha ha.

Floorball STARTED!!! YAY!!! But training so tense suddenly due to
upcoming tournament. but it's all good thought my body is all Aching. Hurray to that. haha. Shit man like the saddest thing happened During training know.
Like my floorball Stick Broke! Like ARGH! It's so Saddening!
It has brought me so so far. Sigh. Well guess it's time to move on then yeah
Both in Floorball and Life. Moving on moving on. Haha. Revolutionary Stuff.
YUP!

Well This closes chpt 10230139213123 of my life. come back soon yeah. Wooooooooot.

written, poetic_tragedy

Nama :- Antaeus
Sekolah:- Whitley Sec, Ite Dover
Likes:Floorball,Amplify,Stones,St.Anthony Church, S A Y!,Rugby,The Outdoors Blading, Chilling, Bullshitting, Bassing and all my dear guits And with the love of Music i found life. Dislikes: I don't know. I hate Boredom though i'm 75 percent of the time bored to shit.Yup. oh and i hate ppl who act freaking pityful and like all u know shit ass people who are trying sooo soo hard to pull ya strings but are freaking pissing ya off? yeah THEM! those ones. haha